Disclaimer: This is undoubtedly going to be the most ridiculous post I’ve ever written to this blog. I’m aware of that and I’m writing it anyway.
By: Robin Harry
I can handle having lymphoma. I can handle doing chemotherapy and having hot flashes every 15 minutes or so. Not tasting my food. Putting on 20 pounds. Being tired all the time. Cold head. Sore muscles. All that and more – I think I’ve been doing pretty well so far. But the injustice of having a rodent in my room at THIS point in time was more than I could handle last night.
I do not like mice. If they’re not named Pinky or running around singing “Cinderelli, Cinderelli”, I have no time for them. They’re furry and tiny, they hide in places you don’t expect, they scurry around and they’re unpredictable – I hate that! All I was doing was sitting around, minding my own business, watching the animated Avengers series (which is no Justice League, by the way), and this THING runs into my bedroom.
Now of all the things that have happened since I’ve had cancer, that actually made me the angriest! Talk about a disproportionate reaction. My mother and brother were cracking up and making fun of me, and I just got more and more annoyed. The thing is – it actually was a really funny situation, even I have to admit it. I think that’s what made it worse! I feel like I’ve been through enough without having to be an earthly source of divine comedy. I just kept saying, “HOW is it fair that there’s a mouse in my room?!?!” And then I’d imagine God in heaven just cracking up at me jumping up onto my bed and doing a jeté out my bedroom door. Then I’d get madder. And my mom would laugh harder.
I knew something would happen eventually that would have me screaming bloody injustice. I just thought it would be something more poignant than a mouse. The point wasn’t the mouse (even though I do hate them). It was why now? I spent a lot of my downtime during chemo decluttering my room, so it seems even more unfair. Why am I losing the little comfort that I have in my bedroom to a rodent when there are 2 other bedrooms, bathrooms, a kitchen and a living room in the apartment? Why mine!? When all I want is to sit back and watch my cartoons with my feet stretched out? Am I not dealing with enough? Not fair!!!
Anyways, I don’t know where the mouse is now. No idea if it’s still in my room or if it’s moved on. All I know is that my feet have barely touched the floor in about 24 hours. <sigh> I know it’s funny, I just can’t laugh yet…
Robin: lymphomalowdown@gmail.com
